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| im glad |
| 08.06.06 (5:59 pm) [edit] |
| im so glad no fucker goes on this site. its pretty shitty to be honest, i find myspace to be better. got work at half eight, so i best get some sleep. bloody insomnia sucks. i can never sleep. JP |
| hello again |
| 07.24.06 (10:24 am) [edit] |
| wow, long time, no blog.... so to the point... new things goin on- -im still single, and it sucks. ill rant about that in a moment. -im in business talks with someone, shall hopefully have my own company!! -im still cyclin around the country.. i did 150 miles this weekend, shall do 200 next weekend hopefully.... hope everyone is ok, i havent been able to get on as ive been fixin this comuter shithole. ok... for the first point. you know who you are if you read this blog. first i take you on dates and you throw it inmy face by just blurtin out you wanna be friends. i didnt even make any moves onto you. i waws just wantin to be a gentlemen to you. and another thing. you went along with the dates and you blatently wanted someone else. and thanks to my friens for pointin that little thing out.... you saved me (or not, i guess) from a total embarrasing fuckup.. well im placing all my efforts into my cycling trip. fuck it. ill be gone all the time training so ill have no time for anyone. and i dont care. fuck it all. JP. |
| my intentions |
| 05.19.06 (7:48 am) [edit] |
| to all my friends, all past present and future, this is a statement of intent. for all of you that have been told, and those who havent, i am planning on a cycling trip. one thatll test my every extremes. i wish to cycle around the world. mock as you may but i do not care. i wish to see the world, test my limits (as im doin it solo), and most of all, i wish to do it for charity. i want a million quid as a target, through corporate sponsorship and other sponsorship. if you are pessamistic then you can just fuck off. i dont need you. i have planned my journey quite far now, the basic plan of the route without gettin into any detail is- from john o' groats on the 1st of january. get down to dover eurotunnel. from dover i shall go to calais. from calais this is the biggest area. i shall end this in shanghai. from shanghai i shall fly to nagasaki. from nagasaki i shall go to tokyo. from tokyo i shall fly to seattle, usa. and from seattle i shall cycle to new york. and new york is where i shall end. if you dont beleave me then you can fuck off, but my starting date as i sed shall be the 1st of jan. 2008, to let me train up. i have quit drinkin and i have quit smoking. i am excercisin lots more and im on a diet as soon as i get one. i guess only my proper friends read my online journals so thankyou. and as this is gonna be at least thirteen thousand miles i shall be taking about a year to do it. cheers guiys. ill keep you posted on this all the time with love to you all, later guiys. JPxx |
| happy birthday to me...... |
| 12.30.05 (6:55 am) [edit] |
|
ninteen today....
woo, all by myself. how many people have forgotten my bday? if you havent, see you later.
|
| hmm.... |
| 03.14.05 (7:06 am) [edit] |
|
im not one for threesomes or lesbian action. i fully admit it. am i weird? also i hate people kising (snogging) my girlfriend. even when playing spin the bottle. i wouldnt do it if i was playing with other women. i would refuse. i dont want to kiss other people. only her. but when i was at a party we were playing spin the bottle. harmless, do you think? but it got raunchy. and jade (my GF ) was the only girl there. and we had to snog whoever it landed on. seemed like she was enjoying it.... we were both drunk though, so probs not. but i wanted to stop playing. she wanted to continue. i said i wanted to stop nad crash out because "i was tired and wanted to crash". she got pissed off with me and sacked me off and told me to get in the room. i did and had to endure it for longer............. i confronted her and asked her about it. she said that if it was me kissing another gurl she would be upset, but it was only a game' she also snogged a lass in front of me. mainly shock ran through my body. and anger "i only did it for you, i thought you would have liked it?!" NO. NO I FUCKING DIDNT. LESBIANS AND FUCKING THREESOMES DONT DO ANYTHING FOR ME. AM I A FREAK?? i only want her and her only. she admitted she loved me, she promised me.......... i hold promises true. i dont know what to do i love her so much i can get along with her so well. she told me that she thought we werent working out. one day lying in bed, we were talking. she has had a bad past, and she said that she thought that it was going to turn out the same as one of her other relationships. SHE SAID SHE WASNT USED TO BEING TREATED SO WELL?!?!?!?!? she said that it was best for me because i deserve better.. do i fuck. i dont even deserve her, never mind anyone else. an ugly fuck of a boyfriend whos too over protective for his own good. i felt like killing myself. no bullshit. there was a window. the flat is 6 stories high. dead on hitting the floor for sure. i pleaded and pleaded. she was the only one for me. it worked. but even though i love her so much, i still feel intimidated about spin the bottle. jade says im ruining her fun and messing her about. but she also said she promised she wouldnt play ever again.. she promised and broke the promise. i hate promises being broken. need hugs and people to talk to. no dont actually. i dont want to attention seek. one other thing, if i was to tell you all one secret, i would die, but i told one sister- like-friend and she said it was depression.... fuck. |
| thoughts in a lyric |
| 03.07.05 (4:09 am) [edit] |
|
alexisonfire, accidents- "im not sure whats worse, the waiting or the waiting room" "do they even cure you? (cut me open drug me), or is it just to humor us before we die (repair all my defects), if only we could heal ourselves" Kyra, seether- "and i become dependant on her as a way of my escape" Kyra, compulsion- "i think i love you, its more than i can stand" sorry all lyric- blog haters, 1st time ive done that. |
| headfuck |
| 03.07.05 (3:59 am) [edit] |
|
too much going on in my head at the mo, just want to get a drill and put it to my head to drill out all the thoughts and opinions etc out of my head. a guy called tom is mates with my girlfriend, she gets on the bus with him to college. he is apparently a drug user (sniffs charlie etc) and has been in prison. my girlfriend has been round a few times to his house. had to hear from my mate that he confessed that he is crazy about her and wants to be with her. apparently she told him he was a nice person but she was going out with me. if true i smile, as it seems as though she wont cheat on me, but why am i not smiling? ever since one person ruined a seemingly good relationship with me BY FUCKING CHEATING ON ME 3 TIMES i have been paranoid ever since (yes its you carmel wigglesworth, thankyou for headfucking me for the past god knows how many years) ive noticed im very emotionally fragile. you may not see it. fuck this, im going to be frank with you. full truth. hate me if you want. hi my name is frank........ :S fuck. you all see me as someone who takes the piss and has a laugh. not me. im so fake. i want to be happy. but if im not happy then people try to make me happy. i dont want people to ask me if im ok. it makes them worried about me, therefore unhappy. i try to make people happy by acting the way i do, by laughing with me or in some cases AT ME. i dont really give a shit, all people who act nice to me but fuck me off behind my back can all rot in hell and fuck themselves. hows about people act true to others? oh yer, im fake, therefore im in that category. shit. ever since i was cheated on i feel so insecure, all the girlfriends i have been out with after carmel (appart from claire) were such great people and i never deserved them. i never deserved to be happy with them. why did they want an ugly fake like me hanging all over them? it made me proud to have girlfriends like them, it made me feel super special. but still, this doubt lingers over me. if im with someone. am i adequate? why are they with me, im a total ugly fucker?! why do they like a fake like me, would they like the insecure dickhead that i actually am? fuck knows. i dont know what is going on at the moment. feel like ending it all, fucking these annoying thoughts off completely. ive grown so close to my girlfriend its unbelievable. i feel happy. but still insecure!?!?! WHY WHY WHY WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING? saying all this, i still have underlying thoughts. even though im with my girlfriend, i still think people are cute, etc. one person in particular. if i was single i would pin her down and love her for hours. hehe :S :) she knows who she is, she has a certain thing of mine, something i really like having, but i know its safe with her. a promise was a promise, and to be fair, you played the game, and won my *****. but i won something that made me smile for ages. what you said to me. but youy didnt know that i liked you for ages and didnt want to tell you because i thought you were too good for me. need to do work. other things needed to say dont want to say them at the mo. byes to all fo' now |
| new business |
| 02.08.05 (5:24 am) [edit] |
|
finally going up in the world...... starting my own business! its called Photograffiti....... gettit? Photograaphy and graffiti...... Photograffiti! we have 2 jobs (unofficially) at the moment, and 2 portrait shots. one is for a stripper... hehe ;) mother heard bout it and she aint too pleased, who cares. its my business, not hers. goddamn parents! bugger. misses my friends, really miss costa goings.... got so much going on at the mo i think my head is going to explode! not much to say to you beyatches, late. ps- richard, sorry for going off on one at you mate. get yourself out sometime. peace. |
| bleugh |
| 02.01.05 (2:01 am) [edit] |
|
hungover...... damn. got munchies so bad, munching in college lessons at the mo peeps, and playing about. DAMN FUCKING HEADACHE! hello to all. :p wow, aint blogged for ages, nothing good to say really. how boring am i....... |
| HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... so funny mate. so is a baseball over your head. |
| 01.07.05 (1:27 am) [edit] |
|
looks like someone can use a computer! congratulations...... hows about you keep your chav like bullshit in your mouth, or maybe you can say it to my face! wow, then you could be called a man/ woman.... and not a fucking pussy. i know im an arsehole n shit...... you know shit all if you knew the whole story, if you were in my situation, you would know what im feeling, and maybe you could get your head out of your arse. some things i need to get off of my chest. no shit intended to any ex's (gill) so what, i hated richard?! HE WAS CONSTANTLY HITTING ON MY GIRLFRIEND. COULD YOU EVER GET SO STUPID? hitting on MYFUCKINGGIRLFRIEND! well you are welcome, if you want to be eating food through a straw and sticking your toothbrush up your arse to brush your teeth. not that im possesive and jealous, but if you have texts like that sent to your girlfriend would you like it? NO. I GUESS YOU FUCKING WOULDNT. 'oh no, but we had such a connection' well go out with him. connections like that make great relationships. yea. like i know, i never had anyone who was going out with me confide with me! thought that was what us boyfriends were for. and i hated going out with a stoner. hmm, what to do, go and see my boyfriend, or go for a joint........ joints last less time, but sod it, you can get another better one. (like me. you can get better boyfriends, who'd want an ugly knobhead like me?) or- hmm, its my boyfriends eighteenth. he may be all over the place but he would rather spend time with me. well fuck it, ill just fuck right off AND NOT TELL HIM and go for a joint, weed is way more important. 5,4,3,2, FUCK OFF.... erm, i mean, happy new year. just because there is one person who you dont like, doesnt mean you have to fuck your boyfriend off, even i wasnt liking it, there was a lot of chavs. i was close to going, but i would have told you at least. wow, that was two times you fucked me off! now then, just to tell you mr i can hack into tblog! if you want, i can just meet up with you, if you hate me so much. then you can say it to my face and tell me how you really feel. show yourself. then i can stick a baseball bat down your fucking face. theyll only know you by your dental records. none of your face will exist. dickhead. |
| THIs IS NOT JP (TRUST ME ON THIS) |
| 01.03.05 (9:20 am) [edit] |
| ok so jp has been an arse this wknd - i no him n gill split up but it was over fukin stupid stuff ive looked after ppl in worse situations and havnt fell out wid em also why the fuck be so fukin pig headed its stupid i mean if u 2 had just talked then u cud have sorted it all out n shit rather than sendin her a bitchy txt - i mean come on thats just pussin out ne way sayonara |
| if this is life i do not want to be part of it. |
| 01.01.05 (5:47 am) [edit] |
|
in my life, i have learned so many things......
one of which- love is fragile. it can break on the easiest of things. i was having a great eighteenth, or well should i say ninteenth, as i was already a bit of a local to the pub. maybe i wasnt paying enough attention to her or maybe she was really bored.
all of a sudden she decides to go off with friends and get stoned. i kinda look back on the time when she said that if i quit smoking then she would quit smoking and quit smoking weed. i cut down already to nearly 10 to 20 a day, then after that under 5 a day. mainly because i cared about her word, partly because i knew it will kill me in the end, and partly because i believe that promises are things that should be set in stone, and not fucked about with. i was down to little nicotene and feeling really happy about it, the constant praise from people and her made me feel like i was doing something worthwile and beneficial.
but was she cutting down on the weed and cigarettes?
no.
didnt fucking bother. no offence beka, you didnt help much here (not that i hate you for it or anything, i think you are a great person). i was told tho that when this promise was made, i was told that it was all bullshit, and she would never quit smoking weed, and she knew that i could never quit smoking (which i nearly did).
and it comes back to my eighteenth. she goes out for a joint WITHOUT FUCKING TELLING ME 1- going for a joint instead of staying and socialising, on one of my most important birthdays of my life. 2- going for a joint alltogether. couldnt she have waited for one night? if it was another day i wouldnt have minded so much, but my birthday night? and 3- vanishing off for quite a while and making me worry sooooo much and then being all bitchy about me complaining where she was. oh and 4- having alcohol and weed mixed together isnt a great thing to do, it makes you feel ill. therefore she was in the toilet and puking up all night. only on the end of the night she came out. what a night wasted. on MY FUCKING EIGHTEENTH AS WELL.
I AM SO NOT FORGIVING HER FOR RUINING MY PARTY.
and also it comes to the latest, fucking me off at a new years party. she goes to the station to get a train with her friends, rings me and says
"ill wait for you if you dont het here on time"
and me rushing about, i only came back from lancaster to go home and get cleaned up then to just get off to the train to windermere. i miss the train which all my friends get on. and she gets on as well. very pissed off. if it was her then i would have waited. just to see her face, to hug, to hold, to kiss.... to be happier. then i get to the station, where i get to my friends house where the party is situated at. after 5 mins of her ignoring me she decides to go with her friends back to kendal (understandable beka and sam and nicky, you were getting abuse and you didnt deserve it) BUT YOU DECIDED TO GO WITH THEM but you did come back. a little too late. i was close to forgiving but this "constantly drunk" person typing here (who is sober at the mo) doesnt want to. he has had enough of it. al the emotional blocking (but you can still talk to your ex who still has a thing for you) and not me, you fuck me off at my 18th and the new years..... you didnt make an effort, not just the other people. it takes more than one person to make an effort to talk you know.
fuck love. im off it now. and no, im not off to get drunk as you think i probably will be. im not an alcoholic.
|
| OAKLEY EYEWEAR!! |
| 12.13.04 (5:36 am) [edit] |
|
possible sponsorship from Oakley Eyewear......... cheered up my day a lot..... was feeling really Emo today and unhappy (as you saw in the last blogs) but this has cheered me up loads. oakley may want to sponsor me for snowboarding! i emailed them ages ago and i thought that they would sack me off and think im just another idiot, but they have just emailed me saying they are interested and if i send a CV and a few shots and vid footage i could be onthe UK team! *smiles bit more* hope my girlfriend can come out tonite, i really need to have a one to one with her just to talk really, ive never had that with her yet.and if i dont then i think ill rip out my hair...... need to feel safe and at the mo im just feeling insecure. fuck. |
| remember one thing |
| 12.13.04 (3:24 am) [edit] |
|
remember one thing gill, if you read this and get offended, you are allowed to schitz out at me. and if you finish me coz of it i understand. (please dont) its just some things i needed to get off of my chest. guess everyone thinks im a total fuckup and insane. i love you gill, i hope you dont take the last blog the wrong way and be unhappy, im saying i do trust you loads. its just it feels like you dont believe me. |
| photographic exhibition |
| 12.06.04 (3:04 am) [edit] |
|
just found out that im going to have my photographs in an exhibition! finally i can see if my photos are good enough.... not too sure though, what happens if it doesnt work out? if they do, i can sell them for a fair bit of money :D and the gallery only takes 40 percent off the cash i earn! |
| tiredness, zombie fucking tiredness.... |
| 12.03.04 (4:05 am) [edit] |
|
i feel like an extra in the dawn of the dead, all that is keeping me sane is the thought of seeing my girlfriend tonight, and stopping over! get to stay with her all night and snuggle next to her..... i love just spending time in her arms, it makes me feel so safe and happy:) gave an appreciation present to her on wednesday. she seemed to like it...... good for me, took me an hour to work out what to get her. chocolates and a single passion rose. everyone was saying "aww" to us, she seemed so happy! it makes me feel so great inside when i see her like that, i love her so much, seeing her so happy is the one thing that says everything is good. feel like sleeping on this keyboard, looks so comfortable..... so tired....... .......dreamy....... all is good today |
| .......... |
| 11.30.04 (12:17 am) [edit] |
|
im not anti drugs... how can i be, i used to smoke weed all the time!? i was a walking zombie because i did it so much, i know how it feels to need to have a j if all you have had for the whole day is shit. people, dont worry. if you are smoking dope when im about then im not going to jump down your thoat. im not that bad, i just dont do it. |
| me in a few quizzes |
| 11.26.04 (4:19 am) [edit] |
|
me in a few quizzes.... i am number 4 "You Are the Individualist" 'You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable. You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.' ------------------------- ------------------ I am 53% Capricorn (i am a capricorn really) ------------------------- ------------------ I am a New School Democrat 'You like partying and politics - and are likely to be young and affluent. You're less religious, traditional, and uptight than most Democrats. Smoking pot, homosexuality, and gambling are all okay in your book. You prefer that the government help people take care of themselves.' ------------------------- ------------------- I am 29% Sketchy ------------------------- ------------------- I am "Dizzy and Giddy" (japanese emoction) (@_@) ------------------------- ------------------- I am Not Scary Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet? ------------------------- ------------------- |
| me unhappy? |
| 11.26.04 (1:51 am) [edit] |
|
mood- depressed unhappy/ kinda in anticipation (hope to be happy later) listening to- rage against the machine ....... and stuck in college when i want to be somewhere else. wow, im finally on tblog again! one time it doesnt work then im away for a photoshoot with my sponsors! well.... i did get a new set of vans shoes which are black, white, and PURPLE!!! lol! i really do miss gill at the mo, im getting really worried about her blogging about me 'ignoring' her. have i ignored her anytime ? any minute with her is precious so i would never try to ignore her :S Mr R is really annoying me at the mo he is doing something that i really wish he wouldnt, he is messing some people about and if he continues with this method then ill have to have words, its not good. (sorry if you dont get it, its just good for me to get this off of my chest) ............................ *thinks for a while*............................... well fuck it, ill see what you think. i really trust gill. i love her loads. the only problem is some guy called richard from windermere. apparently he is one of gills ex's and hasnt talked/ texted etc her for ages, and now he finds out that she is going out with me (aka random guy to him) he is texting her constantly, and telling her he loves her! and saying that he feels like he is in a line waiting for some 'random guy' to finish her. well i dont mind gill being mates with her, who she wants to be friends with is nothing to do with me, its not my choice. but the fact he keeps texting her, when we had a slight fall out she told him we kinda werent talking, and he texted her these words- are you speaking to JP yet? xx gill replies... just wondered.xx well im probably wrong, i usually am, but i feel these texts are because he wants to try and get to gill when me and her are at our weakest. bastard if he is. dont worry gill i never want to have us arguin, and i trust you loads but im not too keen on richard. |
| im so bored..... |
| 11.12.04 (4:39 am) [edit] |
|
im in a class with a bunch of jackasses if they only listened to the tutor then they would get what he was on about... MACROMEDIA FLASH IS SO EASY!! damn.... am i a geek? at least i am safe, the geek shall inherit the earth. but am i a geek?? *cries in corner* im not a geek, well i think im not a geek! lol. |
| munchies?! |
| 11.12.04 (2:46 am) [edit] |
|
toblerone, starburst, chocolate. all in large quantities....... i feel sick now :S im never goin to do that again. hehe. im so bored, im in a computer room playing, and waiting till tonite to see my gill i hope she is ok :( peace, JP |
| benefits of staying up all night |
| 11.11.04 (11:13 pm) [edit] |
|
its not a good idea. im just recoverin from a huge headache from lack of sleep. ive got my photos done from that night, and ive got the northern lights on a picture. BECCAS BIRTHDAY PARTY TODAY!! i miss gill, cant wait to see her tonite. |
| Northern lights............ Prettyful |
| 11.10.04 (9:45 pm) [edit] |
|
went to see the northern lights last nite, stayed up all nite till the early morning to see it, it was really prettyful! glad that i got to see it, wish i could really go to the north pole and see them properly. really warming up now, it was soo cold out there! |
| oh dear Haggis, what have you done now?...... |
| 11.08.04 (4:10 am) [edit] |
|
Haggis, why are you falling out with my theEmochild and Lizzie? what has happened now?? not too happy with you at the mo, why are you like this to rob?? when you are with him you are bitchy and nasty to him, but when you dont see him when you two arent about each other yo say you miss him?? meh. im confused.... or is it you like to be around him to be bitchy??? he really likes you, so why are you like this to him? not my fight, im not involved..... but im not happy with you for being all "friendly" with hanlon..... im sure that really pissed him off big stylee. |
| snowboarding Photoshoot |
| 11.08.04 (1:47 am) [edit] |
|
thought i was going to hurt myself on sunday, i was goin to try to do some sew things to impress the sponsors....... i did some new tricks but didnt go for the backflip damn. couldnt be arsed so i played on the rail for the time. managed to do a spin to a railslide (very technical!) and i got some good footage! got some friction burns though and went on my snowskate to try n slide on the rail with it, but one of the times i tried i fell.......... landed...... one leg.............. either side of the rail. as you can imagine it in your heads, i bollocked myself on a grind rail. ive never felt so much in pain in my life! but as i speak to you today, im ok friends, ive only got a friction burn and a stiff back from landin on my arse all the time. well, at least i have another photoshoot next week! hopefully ill be in a magazine! ps- im already mentioned in this months document snowboard magazine in the websites of the month area, as my t shirt sponsor "thrilly tee UK" is mentioned!!! peace. |
